Giving Back To Yourself: A Need, Not A Want

We’re all doing our best. We all want to be good people.

Call your parents, text your brother, meet up with your sister, hang out with your co-workers, organize your best friend’s birthday, help your spouse with their problem.

The list goes on and on…

So you leave a little of yourself at work, drop off some of your energy at the gym, dispose of some passion working toward your dream, give your heart to the people you love, and come home exhausted at night to go on Facebook, watch some TV, and fall asleep way too late into the night just to wake up way too early and start it all again.

So where are your needs being met in this equation? What are you doing to give back to yourself?

Giving is Good – No Surprises There

Focusing on being a giving person is undoubtedly an admirable quality.

Traits such as kindness, consideration, generosity, compassion, and benevolence are seen in great individuals throughout time. It’s absolutely no surprise we associate giving to others with being a good person.

This isn’t a problem when you’re whole enough, but when you feel depleted or exhausted, your ability to give begins to diminish become more taxing.

This is because it’s important to give to yourself too!

That tired feeling is a reminder that you need to be receiving from yourself. Not for any special reason or event, but just because you are a worthwhile and important being.

You deserve to treat yourself as well as you treat others. You deserve to be a priority. You’re a valuable person too!

But Is That Selfish?

Giving to yourself isn’t the same as being selfish.

Selfishness implies a disregard for others. Self-giving, on the other hand, implies a positive regard for yourself.

Say your best friend calls you to say she’s feeling really dizzy and sick and needs to go to the doctor. Since she’s dizzy, she feels like it’s unsafe to drive herself, that’s why she’s calling you. But you were about to start a Netflix show you’d been looking forward to seeing!

Disregarding your friend when she’s having a crisis just to appease your own desires, would be selfish.

On the other hand, taking time out of your day (this is your life, after all) to spend time cherishing yourself is self-giving. If you get home from work and you want to take watch that show, take a walk, journal about your day, or take a bath, it’s a worthwhile use of your time.

You are giving a gift from yourself to yourself. The focus is on uplifting your life in a personal way. It has nothing to do with harming someone else.

Of course there will always be someone, somewhere to give to, but not everyone who can be given to needs to be given to at every moment. Some moments could, and should, be used to give back to yourself.

Receiving from yourself should have a special place in your life. And although it’s wonderful and admirable to give to others, it’s also important to find time to give to back to ourselves.

This might feel selfish at first, but as you strive to find space in your heart for your needs, you’ll start to notice how much more effectively you can function in life.

Everyone Has The Potential To Be Self-Giving

The people in your life also have the same responsibility to give to themselves. You are not solely responsible for making someone else happy, even if you’re one of the most important people in their lives.

And the opposite is also true. Someone else, no matter how much they care about you, can’t fill your need for self-giving.

Everyone needs to feel given to by others, at least from time to time. But everyone also needs to be given to by themselves.

They are just as responsible for their well-being and have to make time for that, just the same way you do.

Your gifts to others are special and valuable, but not the whole story.

Although receiving from others feels wonderful, it can never fill the part of us that needs love from ourselves.

Everyone needs a base of love and kindness from themselves first and foremost. Gifts from others really uplift us when we have that foundation. But without it, gifts can feel like they are being sent into a pit of need that can never be filled.

Self-Love

Self-love can only be shown to you by yourself, no matter how much someone else loves us. But by giving to ourselves we can demonstrate that care.

By taking time away from daily life to treasure yourself, you are expressing that you see yourself as being worthwhile and valuable.

That has a magnificent outcome: you feel good about just being you.

You feel like you have self-esteem and value. This gives you confidence, self-compassion, and understanding; therefore you are more willing to put yourself out there and go for things you believe in.

And when you put yourself out there, you become more successful at everything, even giving to and uplifting others.

When you feel loved by yourself, care from others feels more like a special gift than necessary fuel. You will find yourself being able to relish in another’s kindness more effectively when you’re already full of love from yourself.

Their small gestures will mean more because it will add to your sense of wholeness, as opposed to filling an emptiness inside of you that needs to be treated with self-love first.

Receiving and giving will both become more uplifting experiences.

You’re the “You” Expert

We are with ourselves every minute of every day…

We are a forever constant in our lives and we travel with ourselves through every good and bad moment. We experience each shift, change, growth, and road bump. We have the front row seat to the movie of our life.

So with all this information, we owe ourselves consideration and compassion.

We know what we want or feel in each moment and can cater to that uniquely. We have that insider info! And with that information we can choose the best way to give to ourselves.

Yet despite that knowledge about your daily experiences, you can still feel like you don’t know much about yourself and what you want. However, figuring out what you want each time is one of the ways you can begin understanding yourself.

And learning about who you are inside is one of the first stepping stones to personal development and achieving greater happiness.

Self-Giving IS Giving To Others

Would you ever try to run a marathon when you haven’t slept for days? It seems silly doesn’t it? Like you’re making it hard on yourself before you even start!

That’s what it’s like to constantly give to others without considering yourself. You run out of energy and enthusiasm for everything when you’re depleted, even giving.

So by carving out time to give back to yourself you’re actually giving yourself the energy and rejuvenation to go out and be giving once again.

You’re filling up your battery so you can continue to light up the world. And the world benefits so much from your light!

When you feel depleted you don’t have the energy to be the best version of yourself, so you can’t do as well at all the things you love. And you have less to give to others when you can barely make it through your obligations.

So by giving to yourself you have more energy, and in turn, can give more to other people.

Give It A Try

So now that you know just how beneficial giving to yourself will be, try doing something that makes you feel enriched!

Unsure where to start? We’ve been there.

That’s why we got you covered with 5 unusual ways to give back to yourself.

If you’re looking for some new and creative ways to shift that focus back to yourself, we’ve thought of some really unique ways that you probably haven’t considered before. Give them a try!

By |2018-05-21T19:00:54+00:00December 3rd, 2015|Life Advice|0 Comments

About the Author:

Our big dream is to help transform the world we live in, into the something more we all know it can be, by helping people live a more spiritual and fulfilled life. At Modern Monks, we do our best to share helpful and actionable tips, strategies, advice, and practices that comes from looking at that greater truth inside all of us.

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